One of the hardest things to open up to your partner about, in my opinion/experience, is that of what we want in the bedroom. We all have a dirty little slut that lives in our minds, and she can have some pretty outlandish desires. It is very rare that someone digs deep enough to find her, but when they do… oh god… the sex that follows is amazing.
With my current partner, things were very vanilla and I was honestly getting frustrated. I was walking away from a former life, and trying to leave it in the past. So I found a man, who wasn’t afraid to stand up for himself or me to anyone (family included), who was actually single instead of proclaiming to be, and who was honest to a fault. However, while all those traits were exactly what I was looking for, he was also very vanilla… but hey, you win done you lose some right? Wrong! I was to the point that I was going to explode if this didn’t change. I wanted it rough, I wanted to be commanded, my dirty little slut was getting out of control… and that’s when it happened. I reached my breaking point while we were having sex, and I took over. I became slightly dominate to see if he would fight back. I tested him subconsciously and he passed with flying colors. Every time I pushed, he pushed back harder, every time I moved he moved me back the way he wanted. Afterwards, I began to wonder how I should bring up the idea of us creating a semi BDSM relationship to see if he would enjoy it as I do. I found the easiest way was to actually send him a picture that I had found on pintrest of all places
He knew that previously I had been in a DD/lg relationship. He had detested the idea before, but after he had experienced a taste he was curious. I shared with him that true ideas of what it means. Not what it is made out to be. What the general public believe of BDSM is not how it always is. And the amount can vary from relationship to relationship. Had we stayed together, the last relationship was more of a 24/7 variation, while I knew that with my current it would be a bedroom only kind of thing. I slowly started introducing him to the idea, and eventually curiosity got the best of him and he did his own research. Afterwards he came to me and apologized for what he had said before, and that he now understood what I was wanting and that he wanted it too. We are still growing with each other and have been sticking with the more vanilla side of it, but he is a caring and firm Dom. The only side he hasn’t fully explored yet are the true punishments. We are still testing limits to find where each other stand, but this is definitely a new day breaking, and I couldn’t be happier.