Almost a year

I don’t talk about this much,  but it has been on my mind today.  Last January I miscarried with my old Dom’s child.  It was really early in the pregnancy so there was no need for a DNC. It was very hard for me to come to terms with this loss.  I tried to play it off in my mind as a fluke,  or a really long, 16 day,  heavy period. I know that in the end it was for the best, however,  there are still times that I would love to meet this little child that would’ve been a combination of us.  I have learned through my my son that you don’t have to be with the other parent in order to give a child all the love and support they need. 
I still want to have another child.  We have actually been trying and are planning on making an appointment if it hasn’t happened naturally by July.  I guess that is why it has been at the forefront of my mind. I know that I have found a good partner now and that I won’t have to raise this child alone should we actually be able to conceive. In fact, at the time when we had one other scare knowing that I was coming out of a relationship with my old Dom and that the child wouldn’t be his,  my current Dom was ready to claim the child and raise it as his own.  That ended up just being a cyst/endometriosis but it meant a lot that he was willing.
This is just a very emotional time and I am venting mostly.  This is the time of year my son was born,  the time of year that I began my divorce,  my ex has a new baby being born this year, and I lost a baby all within the next two calendar months…
Things keep moving forward though and I believe this Christmas will be amazing,  mostly cause I am not waiting on a phone call that never comes…


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